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January 11, 2009

My Zi Qi Qi Ren

There are days that I would rather drive a mile out of my way (or worse) than admit that I made a wrong turn, missed my exit or admit that I am not sure exactly where I'm going. I'd rather turn an errant left turn into a series of errant left turns to get back to that right turn that I should have made to begin with, an I hope that no one notices my scenic route.

Ninja_bandito_blog400 Once, years ago, I made a mistake at work, minor enough that I would have only had to have a bit of humility to own up to it and move on, but I didn't. I covered it up quickly and quietly, which I had to cover up covering it up. then I had to obfuscate some details about covering up the cover up of the mistake ... take this story out three months and I get fired. Why? Not because of the mistake. I got fired because I couldn't admit the mistake and felt that I had to hide it from my boss and from the world. I wish I'd learned my lesson in that moment, but I didn't. I learned to get better at hiding the truth.

Of course, this isn't a years ago thing. It isn't something that I grew out of after a few years of consequences. It's a character assassin that waits around the corner, fooling myself into thinking that I am financially fit enough to blow a few bucks on ______. It waits until I forget to take out the garbage, Its holding out hope that someday I pick up the bottle again and then it strikes. It compounds trouble with lies and deceit. It breaks trust and kills friendship. Zi qi qi ren kills slowly and completely and its waiting for me. And its waiting for you too.

Fortunately there is a way to defend against this character assassin; do the right thing, do the next right thing, tell the truth, tell it now. Do it consistently and immediately. Do it until it becomes second nature and then do it again. Just like there are no short cuts to getting out of debt, there are no short cuts to building character and integrity. It's a long walk home. Its filled with pitfalls and booby traps. You fall down and you get back up. This is a path defined and cut out of the landscape by one thing: singleness of purpose.


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