Lets talk goals. And lets talk problems. We can talk about misalignment and dysfunction. And we can talk about ways to fix them.
The problems didn't start recently. The fact is that through a decade (no further due to a personal statute of limitations) of lifestyle mismanagement and avoidance of conflict, I have made my bed and have been laying in it quite uncomfortably for some time.
It is high time to remake the bed.
What in the world am I talking about?
This is going to get personal. Not in the bedroom personal, but still... personal.
Lets start with the physical. I am out of shape. I am 6'4", 230 lbs, and far more of me is made of fat than I would like. I am getting older, but I feel too old to be in my early 30's. In fact, I've gained 100 lbs since college, Half of that since my son was born, then I lost 30 lbs.
I could use another 20 lbs off my frame, but that is just a start. I want to gain some of that weight back. I want to gain muscle and to be honest, I want to look really good.
Next, my career is crippled. I've been stuck in the same position for a decade, and I need to change. I need to learn and grow, and begin to perform at a new level. I've worked in EMS, and without tooting my own horn too much, I am really good at my job. I have always striven to be the kind of person that I would want to put in charge of my well being. This is doubly so since Jack, my son has hemophilia. I view my medical skills as a zero-room-for-pussy-footing environment. I need to grow.
Now, my finances... Tied to the above problem of career, my finances are weak because I get paid less than I would like, in a career field that doesn't pay what it should. Couple that with spending discipline problems, and I have quite a bit of work to do in this area, and it can only really be reformed by jump starting my career. The bright side is that I have no debt other than the house. Savings are growing and there is almost no risk of want for my kid.
Then there is the elephant in the room, relationships. I tend to be a Sanguine/Phlegmatic. I am social for a while, but I really like my time alone, quiet and holed up. This has caused me many problems with people along the way both romantically, and friendship-wise. In recent years, I've been far more of an isolationist than I would like, and I am genuinely lonely. Couple this with a breakdown in my marriage, and I feel lost at sea. To the point that it really is effecting every part of my life. I feel cut off from my wife, my friends, my faith and many others.
But...
I have a plan. Or, at least, I am developing a plan, and have enough of it in place that I can begin to implement it starting at the beginning of the year.
1) Get physical
I have a gym membership. I have a gym upstairs from my bunk at work. Why am I not working out 5 times a week? I am going to fix this. There is the gym, and I am going to use that frequently, but, I am also going to be taking martial arts classes "with" my son. Now, he is five. He is also going to be taking Tae Kwon Do while I take Hapki do. But, I think that there is enough over lap there that we will be developing together and keeping our bond strong through a shared physical activity/discipline (something that we both need!). And that leads me to one of my 1800 day goals.
Earn a Black Belt in Hapki-do.
2) Get in school
It is far past time for me to get back into a classroom. While this is tough to do as a full time worker + full time dad, there is a path that fits my crazy lifestyle that will let me earn my RN. Of course, I will never leave well enough alone. I will have my BSN in 1800 days and be preparing to earn my masters at Texas A&M. There is more to this goal, but that takes me past 1800 days.
Earn a BSN
3) Grow Financially
If I had my druthers, I would be living off of 50-60% of my income. The rest would go to savings/investments/charity. Getting my BSN would more than double my income, and at my current budget, make this a reality. I also need to work on state-dependant spending. I've noticed that when I feel isolated, lonely,sad,bored and a host of negative feelings, I spend money on things I don't need and ultimately, don't want. I need more discipline in this area of my life, but there is also another problem of negativity, and it has grown to the point that it directs attitudes and actions.
Become a more positive person
Exercise financial discipline in all matters
4)Address the problems within my marriage and mend friendships
I NEED to address issues in my marriage. We are not talking about socks on the floor issues. We are talking about critical issues that can end a marriage. Because of fear and because of weakness, I have been practicing a regimen of conflict avoidance that has gotten me no where and with nothing to show but misery. I need help in this area. I need to start working with a professional to learn the skills that will keep the difficult discussions that lie ahead from becoming marital brawls that will doom a relationship. I also need to practice courage and patience, recognizing that the behaviors that have caused these problems and the decisions that were made have stood in place for 7 years and will not be addressed in 7 days.
I also need to reconnect with friends. I have let far too many relationships fall to the wayside unattended for no better reason than "I'm busy." I need to devote time every month to mending the broken fences in my relationships. Be it with hockey games, visits, conventions, or conversations at waffle house. Time must be given to the people whom I care about.
Develop the personal skills needed to address the problems in my marriage
Address the problems in my marriage
Reconnect and stay connected with friends
That is the beginning of the plan. I have a lot farther to go before it is mission ready, but there are still some preparatory steps that I can take this week. First, I think it is time to sign up for a karate class...
